Relax

When stress hits hard, our instincts often tell us to do something quick! Unfortunately, this can get messy, since it is near impossible to solve a problem at the very moment you are facing it head on. When you are tired, overworked, sick, or stuck in your thoughts about your circumstances, your mind spins out of control. These peak times are the absolute worst moments to attempt to figure out your life or solve the issues at hand.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a RESET Button to press in these moments?

Here is a way to create your own personal, easy to remember RESET Button. Hang it up and memorize these simple steps and to instantly coach yourself even in the middle of intense frustration.

1. Realize where you're at
2. Energize yourself
3. Soothe your senses
4. End negative thoughts
5. Talk to someone

Realize where you are at: What factors are coming into play right now? Have I just dealt with a difficult person or situation? Am I overtired? Am I not feeling well? Am I under the pressure of a deadline? Is paperwork mounting? Do I have PMS? (or, does someone near me have it!) What type of stress am I managing? What is my mindset right now? If you are not in a good mind state, don't try and figure anything out-your goal is to first calm down. This step helps to create the needed insight and self-awareness as to why things might feel so stressful right now. It helps you to slow down and evaluate where you're at, which will lead you to what can be done.

Energize: In my estimation, exercise and movement is the best way to push the reset button when you are stuck. You don't need a gym membership to get your body and heart pumping. A brisk walk outside, a jog or cardio work-out are wonderful, as are other unconventional quick fixes such as jump roping, jumping jacks, skipping, push-ups, and bouncing on a trampoline (my personal favorite). Literally picture yourself melting off the stress as you do something physically active that you enjoy. The most important step is the most fun...so enjoy!

Soothe your senses: Figure out what is comforting to you and enjoy regularly. Whether it is praying, reading, singing, turning on the music, painting, socializing, puttering, deep breathing, taking a hot shower, lighting a candle, having alone time, changing the lighting, anything you do to change your environment in a direction that feels good to you can make a huge difference. You want to stimulate your senses in a positive way to counteract the negative ways they are stimulated when you are frustrated. By soothing your senses, you help tip the scale back towards a better direction, and you give your brain the message that things are okay-or at least they will be.

End negative thoughts: You are what you think. Negative thoughts are always part of the equation when we are fed up. They creep up, multiply and get in the way of reasoning. Recognize where your thoughts are, and do some intensive coaching to remind yourself that you can and will get out of the difficult moment. Remember that frustration can be built around the things you care about, so sift out whatever it is that you care about and see if you can problem solve in a different way to overcome the obstacles. The more negative you think, the more stuck you will remain. Taking negative thoughts and reframing them is a huge step towards keeping yourself in tune.

Talk to someone: A good debriefing can be very refreshing. Connect with someone who knows you and will offer balanced feedback. If you wallow in your stress alone, you may not be able to find other possibilities to how you could approach things. Having fresh ideas, being able to hear yourself out loud and putting a name to things are a relief. If you let things brew and fester, they will continue to prevent you from moving forward and away from your high stress moments. Having diverse relationships helps you have lots of options and perspectives to draw upon.

Everyone already has a RESET button, whether they are aware of it or not. Overindulgence in food, alcohol, drugs, yelling, screaming, outbursts, melt-downs and other unhealthy actions are also forms of reset buttons. Many fall prey to this because they are desperately trying to stimulate, escape or redirect themselves. Obviously, a healthy reset button should be planned and activated to prevent unhealthy behaviors from becoming habits.

Your reset button should be full of your own favorite things to do, that are exciting and relaxing to you. The RESET button works best when you press it often, so don't wait until tensions are high. The more you use it, the better you will become at managing stress and being your best.

Kristen Lee Costa, LICSW is the founder of Helping Helpers, dedicated to providing life-changing resources for professional and personal development. Visit http://www.helpinghelpers.com for access to innovative tools for therapists, teachers, nurses and those in helping professions. Kristen provides a clinical blog, called "Kristen's clog" with everyday stress management guidance.

For the past decade, Ms. Costa has worked with numerous individuals, families and non-profit organizations to create positive change.

A graduate of Boston University, Ms. Costa has raised over eight million dollars in grant funding within her community. Ms. Costa is an experienced speaker, writer and therapist with a passion for advocacy and education.

Kristen speaks to professional and general audiences in a variety of settings. She is convincing, with her direct, warm, down-to-earth style and creative flare that allows audiences to enjoy learning. Titles include "Finding Balance in An Unbalanced World", "Is There a GPS for My Stress?", "Not a Bird, Not a Plane...SUPER-Vision", and "Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say: Grant Strategies That Work". Interactive, fine-tailored presentations are offered for each audience served.

In addition to professional grant writing, Kristen's range of expertise includes composition of a variety of clinical resources for patients, speech and seminar writing, newspaper articles, and currently a book manuscript titled "Flung-Over: Overcoming The Intoxication Of Too Much To Think" to be published. Kristen has appeared on local radio and provided community presentations to raise awareness surrounding emotional wellness.

A lifelong New Englander, Kristen has many never-ending winters and fly-by summers under her belt. She currently lives in Massachusetts with her husband and children, who inspire and enrich her. Kristen's life mission is to encourage others to be HELPERS, and to equip them with innovative resources to help themselves and others better.